In the Storm

Not the easiest of days in hard human life.

He couldn't even eat indoors due to the crowds. His family thought he was crazy & tried to kidnap him. He stated his real family was whoever would do God's will. The Pharisees, now dogging his every step, asserted he was controlled by the Devil. He countered with solid verbal punches in what was a theological prize fight. Later, teaching by the lake, the crowd pressed so that he had to teach seated in a boat on the water. Sun baked for hours. Exhausted. Evening arriving. He ordered the boat to set out for the other side of the lake. Finding the rudder-man's cushion he placed it as a pillow under his head & fell asleep upon the hard planks astern.

Not the easiest of days in a hard human life.

620 feet below sea level & surrounded by ravine-cut mountains the lake, or Sea of Galilee, was notorious for sudden squalls. Most in afternoons. Worse at night. Worse that night. A storm of seismic proportions blew in. Jesus, having lived not the easiest of days in a hard human life, slept still. Waves churning. Spray blowing. Rain falling. Boat sinking. Disciples shouting. His Disciples, some seasoned fishermen, were scared for their lives. They cried out, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" They had no where to turn but Jesus. They were right where God wanted them. Jesus was with them in the storm.

The Disciples wanted Jesus to do something for them.

Jesus wanted the Disciples to trust in him.

His presence was all they needed, yet they begged for his action.

We lose some of Jesus' force in translation. "Silence! Be muzzled!," he commands the wind & waves. Immediately the great storm became a megas or "great" calm.

When Jesus powerfully calmed the object of their fear his Disciples became fearful of him.

My greatest fear should not be of my situation. My greatest fear should be of Jesus' great power.

My greatest request should not be for his action. My greatest request should be assurance of Jesus' presence.

Next time I have not the easiest of days in my human life, I should remember:

storms will come;

God is with me;

He will not allow me anywhere He can not effect;

He will bring me through;

He wants me to call on Him;

His power changes everything.

(This post references Mark 3:20-4:41.)

Thou, O Lord

2009 was a tough year.

Threats & concerns that my ministry here was over. My errors & shortcomings discussed evident. Stung by some. Embraced by others. My failure palpable. My grief overwhelming at times. Trying to live life as a hubby & daddy, continue to minister, & act like all is well. Broken & humbled. Experiencing God’s grace profoundly.

Late Autumn during a week away with family God gave me peace. No matter what. Stay or go. He was in control. He’d take care of my family. My church. Me. He loved more than I could know or imagine.

Weeks later I headed out for a Saturday morning long run. Eight degrees. New worship music loaded on my iPod. My first listen. I did worship. With each breath. Each step. Through the cold. The dark. Each note. Each word. Through my pain. The grief.

And then. First time I’d ever heard it.

Many are they increased that troubled me
Many are they that rise up against me
Many there be which say of my soul
There is no help for him in God

Tears. Rolling down. Weeping. As I ran.

But thou, O Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head
Thou, O Lord are shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head

Tears. Freezing on my cheeks. Joyful. As I ran. 

I cried unto the Lord with my voice
And he heard me out of His holy hill
I laid me down and slept and awaked
For the Lord sustained, for he sustained me

Arms. Uplifted in praise. Emboldened. As I ran.

Thou, O Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head
Thou, O Lord are shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head

Voice. Lifted in worship. Strengthened. As I ran.

Don’t know how many times I replayed it. Felt like I was running on air the remaining eight miles to loop back home. Those words of the Third Psalm inspiring me.

I have a second chance. Redemption.

We have a God of second chances. A Redeemer.

Why don’t you come back to Him? Your Protector, Provider, Redeemer.

Crunchy Mouth

We're eating our super sale price purchased Little Debbie snacks for a fun, little dessert after lunch today. John Mark eats... or inhales... his Honey Bun before Melanie has opened her Nutty Bar wrapper. Being the Linebacker Toddler he is. Not afraid to ask. Not up on all his manners. Determined. Hungry. Answering his stomach's call. He begins to ask. Possibly whine. Wanting his Mama's Nutty Bars. Both of them.

Melanie kindly offers one.

"John Mark," trying to teach thankfulness & encourage contentedness, "what should you say?" I ask.

His crunchy mouth reply, "Give me the other one."

If it wasn't so funny to us, we'd have cried.

If it wasn't so true of us, we'd have scolded.

One Nutty Bar does not a glutton make. But "the other one" does a glutton illustrate.

Gluttony is the sin of too little & not enough. Always more. Rarely content. Appetite long. Patience short. Gluttony is not only about the stomach. But the wallet. The calendar. The toys. The stuff. The mind. It is control. Yet it controls. Gluttony is the sin elephant in the room of every Christ follower.

Give me the other one.

Out of the mouth of a babe. The first not fully in the mouth of the babe.

Am I a babe?

With a crunchy mouth reply?

Eye Keem

- No. No. No! No buy shoes. Eye keem. Stated my emphatic toddler.

Elementary school open house tonight. School starts Wednesday. My little princess will be a kindergartner. That's a whole other post... My big boy goes to third grade. I'm feeling old now. That's another post too... So, Melanie had floated the idea on the way there, "Anyone want to get ice cream after we go to school?" You can guess the response.

School was filled with people. Friends. Neighbors. Teachers. The new year ahead like the new kindergarten wing with everything bright, shiny & smelling of paint & clean carpet. There was some tugging of parents down the hall. Some calling of kids back to the family fold through the crowd. Yet, surprisingly no begging for ice cream.

Back in the car. One family member had his face firmly set.

- You guys wanna go to Zesto? Mama asks.

- No Zehtoh. Eye keem.

- John Mark, Zesto is where we get the ice cream.

- No Zehtoh, Mama. Eye keem!

- John Mark, we go to Zesto to get ice cream.

- Eye keem. Ah wahn eye keem. No Zehtoh.

- Okay, John Mark, we'll get ice cream.

Satisfied with no mention of Zesto & only ice cream we motored along talking about other things. Until. Melanie noticed a good, old - stress old, folks - pair of shoes she was wearing had an all the sudden hole in the long faithful leather. I said, "We gotta go buy Mama a new pair of shoes." You've already read the response that received.

- No. No. No! No buy shoes. Eye keem.

John Mark wanted to hear nothing but eye keem. Talk nothing but eye keem. Go nowhere but eye keem. He was not ugly or pitching a fit. He was kindly insistent with precious pronunciation.

I had to wonder. Even though I know that I can not change God's mind. He desires my faith. He is loving. He will give good gifts so much more. He answers my persistence. Can I pray? Can I act? Can I be as single-minded & persistent as my young son? About things that really matter? About following Jesus? Loving my family? Serving my church?

Zesto was closed. Broken machine sign said. McDonald's for eye keem.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:9-11 (italics added)

Hungry

Sweet, little Mary Elizabeth has been sick.  Not strep.  Not flu.  Tested for those.  Just a virus that won't let go.  She has had no desire to eat.  Feels yucky.  Little she does eat.  Won't stay too long.  Listless & hollow.  Wish I could make it all better.

Mama was taking ME to the Pediatrician today.  Infected cut on her hand may be complicating her virus recovery.  Weak immune system thing.  So, Mama, ME & John Mark did a little shopping before Doc.  I met them at the Docs office to take JM home just before noon.

Raiding the fridge at home this hungry Daddy says, "I'm gonna fix some lunch."  JM's toddlerspeak, "I wuhn to eee luhn too-ooo, Dah-dee!"  Fix me a sammy.  Fresh lunchmeat.  Sharp cheddar.  Good stuff.  Fix my boy a quesadilla.  Cheese only.  Microwaved.  Easy stuff.

JM is my linebacker toddler.  The boy can eat.  3/4s of his quesadilla.  A dozen cherries.  Dad knows we need fruit.  And a few bites of Dad's sammy too.  Did I tell you the boy can eat?

About then his Mama calls.  Doctor went well.  Going to get Rx.  What are we doing?

"Just ate lunch," I said.

"John Mark ate again?"  Is the not-too-surprised Mama question.

"I didn't know he ate the first time," I reply looking to see if my boy's belly is bursting.

"Yes, he had SEVEN McNuggets at Walmart.  What'd he eat this time?"  Comes the not-surprised-at-all-now Mama question.

And I told her the story I just told you.

My boy was hungry.

My boy ate.

My boy didn't tell me he'd already had lunch!

My boy.

Had to ask myself.  Am I hungry?  Like Mary Elizabeth with a sickness that keeps me from wanting to eat?  Or like John Mark who can't get enough?

And, what am I hungry for?  What do I come back to the table for?  When I've already eaten?  Can't get enough of?  As the Daddy, the adult, what drives my life?

Blessed are those who hunger & thirst for righteousness,

for they will be filled.  Matthew 5:6