Engaging the Dechurched

We continue our examination of The Great Dechurching: Who’s Leaving, Why They Are Leaving, and What Will It Take to Bring Them Back? by Jim Davis and Michael Graham with Ryan Burge. What looks like defeat, really has hope. Some things are out of our control, but other things are not. There are effective ways we can respond to The Great Dechurching. Let’s consider some reasons for hope.

Reasons for Hope

First, 51% of dechurched evangelicals said they will return to the church one day. And why or when will they return? When a friend, family member, or coworker invites them. You can do that. Invite people into a personal relationship with you—extend friendship and be welcoming. Invite people to consider a personal relationship with Jesus—share his love and the Gospel. Invite people to attend a church activity or worship service with you—ask them to be included.

Second, research shows belief, belonging, and behavior are connected. When we consider the behavior of church attendance we can be encouraged that behavior follows belief and belonging. Most dechurched people have stopped the behavior of church attendance, but their beliefs are still very much in line. “They left their religious label behind but not their belief” (121). They still belief, we just need to invite them to belong once more.

Third, the relational incompetence of both the churched and their churches is a major problem in dechurching. Those wanting to reverse The Great Dechurching would do well to improve their relational wisdom. We need some critical competencies to increase our relational wisdom. The six competencies of relational wisdom are as follows.

God-Awareness—God loves the dechurched and desires an rich, love relationship with them; such awareness can empower us.
Self-Awareness—Healthy within our own personal relationship with God, self-awareness enables us to more wisely relate to others.
Others-Awareness—Our growing relationship with God and right understanding of self allows us to best engage others in gracious, respectful, and loving manner.
Emotional Awareness—Of self and others informs how we invite others to consider the Gospel.
Awareness of How Others Perceive Us—Am I awkward or cringy? Or do I come across naturally, transparent, and, in the right circumstances, more deeply vulnerable as a real person.
Cultural Awareness—Growing from awareness of others, we must consider our cultural biases and differences when sharing with the dechurched.

In short, all of us would do well to practice calm, quiet, curiosity in relating to others, particularly the dechurched. These points lead us to consider: What awareness do I struggle with and for what reasons? Specifically, how can I improve my awareness?

God So Loved

God so loved the world—churched, unchurched, and dechurched—that he gave his one and only son that whoever—no matter their story, their labels, their background, or their sins—believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. That is still the Gospel. Let us share it winsomely.

To read the previous posts, The Great Dechurching, click here, and Who Are The Dechurched?, click here.

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